My Own Space

My Own Space:
This word has gained a special importance in this world.Generally my own space refers to a part of your life which you don’t want anyone to
interfere with.When people do interfere, they are “barging” into it.Now,this phenomenon can be seen by the rise in the number of blogs itself. Blogs provide people their own space in the cyberworld where they can experss themselves without any bondage,except if your blog enteries refering to your old girlfriends are read by your parents .

The point here is, that the world is moving to an individualistic lifestyle.People fight for their “wajood” and struggle for not being a
face in the crowd.People now can live alone, on their own, make fake relationships,without emotions.They now have the ability to be maintain
singularity and to be taken care of by themselves and no one else.I too believe in having a separate identity for myself, but that does not make me unemotional, cold hearted guy who lives for his own sake.I still have humanity,humility,modesty and helfulness left in me.Although I have my own space, and I do get irritated when it is barged, I donot ask the person to get lost or get out.I am polite enough to say,sir,I regret to say that you have misunderstood my space as yours, so kidly oblige me to be alone here.

I am generally deprived of it because of my nature and job too.So I create my space by taking long lonely walks, keeping my cellphone off and just thinking about good things in my life.

There are two types to spaces people whom they call their own:
1. Individualism : In which you own your life and people around are merely strangers whom you call friends and are with them just for the sake of it.This thing comes out of ego which is more in people now a days.Due to the advent of IT jobs, people have lots of money to afford a lavish lifestyle, spending heavy sums over trivial things.Due to this change in lifestyle,they think they are superior to many but actually they are not.They end up killing their humility and become a “me”.

2. Loneliness : In this you are alone with no one to speak to you but that time is very short and very irregular, like once in a week.However,you are all by yourself and don’t think much about it. These people these walks as a refreshing break in their heavy schedule and welcome it be being cool and enjoying it.Once they are back from here they are refurbished with energy.

In my life I have come accross many people with different perspectives about their own spaces and have seen many people become individualistic.However, I have learnt to respect it, rather than barging into it and making people realize their individualistic potentials.

Falling in the Dark and The Road Less Taken

Some things remain with you for your whole lifetime.There are two things in my case.One is a dream,in which I kept falling into infinity,into the dark place made of I don’t know what,I don’t know where and I don’t know how.At the end of the dream,I just find my self holding my pillow or bedsheet holding very tightly and a heavy sweat over my forehead,with a tint of ache in my back and head.For some time now I have not been having that dream but I don’t want it to return it anyday again in my life.I tried to goto the past experiences,and tried to figure out when did I get those dreams.There have been many instances in my life,when I have been friendless and all alone.Not necessarily lost but definitely alone.I had suffered with this dream for the maximum number of times during my college days.In school It was very less.However, the last time this dream came I was really worried.That was the time I was 1 year into the Job.At that particular I got the real essence of the dream.I knew I was falling endlessly into darkness, and I didn’t know where my career was going.I didn’t know what to do to and what to achieve.Then one day, the day of biggest happenings, I am not sure about what date it was,I woke up to one of my long forgotten thought.Suddenly I found myself heading towards a direction which I found.

That thought was the road less taken.I saw this photograph somewhere.Some painter in some some art gallery had drawn it and I found it’s meaning after several years in a manner I least expected to discover it.In my studio test at NID I drew this drawing and the interviewer asked me what it meant. I was speachless, I just told it was a road less taken.Well, on the worst day of my life as I call it, I saw this picture hanging in someone’s home.It was the picture of two mountains,and a long endless road,whose horizon can be seen between the two mountain peeks.That was exactly what I had drawn in that studio test that day and what I had seen in my childhood.I knew them exactly what to do then and I then started an unending journey on that road.I never know whats beyoned that horizon for me,I just see it between the two peaks and I keep walking towards it.

That day onwards till date, I have never fell endlessly in darkness.

Put on your Running Shoes

Runnig is what I am doing now.Is it me, no its my life.I have put a nice pair of Nikes and Running Like Milka Singh,the flying sikh.The pace at which it is moving is reackoning and breakneck.From work to projects to settlement of the company matters.Everything is happening so fast that I don’t realize where I am going.I am just running endlessly trying not to get tired and streching my 100 mts to infinity gradually.

This has led to opening of new avenues and new directions where I can run towards.It so happened that when I saw was watching “Forrest Gump”, I saw Tom Hanks running endlessly without relizing where he is going and what an amazing feat he is achieving.I dont know if I am like him becuse I don’t know whether what I am achieving is big or not or even it is an achievement or not.It all depends how people around you rate your success,or whether they even consider it.

I want to run till I satisfy my hunger, my hunger for achieving more,hunger for living life in a larger way and a very special hunger. A desire to see each person in the country to wake up to a dawn where every person can wake up to their dreams and achieve it,where everyone can be fearless,hold the head high and walk proudly, stand by what ever they want.Hope is what we should always see,a hope for everyone’s aspirations,a silver lining in the cloud for everyone in this world.

I hope my running shoes last that long !!!

On love and Hate

Looking at the pages of my life…as one of the song of Bon Jovi says, thank you for loving me, I was also doing the same one day. I was also turning the pages of my past and looking at the ones who loved. Just wanted to thank everyone for loving me so much.I always gave away the love of so many friends and was sparsely in touch with them. All this time I have been running after people who either went away without a word or never expected and accepted me in this image of a person who could love them throughout the life,or could bring his heart out to keep them happy.I do it for each and every person I know and I do it because I cannot hate.God has sent me in this world to spread love,humanity and humility. Thats what I feel my mission in my life too is.As I always say, my selfish motive in this life is to see each and every person in this world happy.The innocent smile of a 5 year old, makes my day,and the sight of happy people makes me feel nice towards life. Sometimes I feel life has been unjust to me in many ways by not giving so many things I always wanted to.However, at the same time I do feel it has given me so many things to be happy for.A lovely family,a nice group of friends and such a nice life to be happy about.Although some people have given me valid enough reasons to hate them, I still do not hate them.Hate is like a snowball,it gets bigger and bigger with everyturn.Every passing moment, every action and every small spec pf hate will lead to a big mountain of hate which in turn will gradually make the human inside you to commit suicide.Forgetting and moving on seems very tough to people but thats the way of life for me.I dont want to make the human inside me kill himself with his own hands.I want him to spread smiles,happiness,hope and a message of love.Now on love I would say, it is like a chain reaction.You can pass it to as many people as possible and they will inturn spread it as a message.
I believe the actions of people depends partially on their attitude(which constitutes their upbringing,past and the mindset) and mostly on the kind of situation they are in now.

This I am saying because I believe that life is a continuous process of metamorphosis.The events throughout our lives, shape who we are and thats how I come back again to my post on destiny.

Thats what destiny does to us !!!

Emofused

Emofused!!! don’t look it up in the dictionary, you wont find it. It’s not there at all. Emofused is derived out of 2 words – Eomtionally Confused.How can these two words go together?, you must be thinking.If you give a deep thought to this question,you yourself can come up to the answer.You will realize that both are very much a part of each other.Confusion is almost a definite result of emotion.

To explain this we will have to dissect these words.Emotion is:

·mo·tion      /ɪˈmoʊʃən/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[i-moh-shuhn] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

1.	an affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional states of consciousness.

2.	any of the feelings of joy, sorrow, fear, hate, love, etc.

3.	any strong agitation of the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear, etc., and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes, as increased heartbeat or respiration, and often overt manifestation, as crying or shaking.

4.	an instance of this.

5.	something that causes such a reaction: the powerful emotion of a great symphony.

---

[Origin: 1570–80; appar. < MF esmotion, derived on the model of movoir: motion, from esmovoir to set in motion, move the feelings < VL *exmovére, for L émovére; see e-, move, motion]

and confusion is :

con·fu·sion      /kənˈfyuʒən/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuhn-fyoo-zhuhn] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

1.	the act of confusing.

2.	the state of being confused.

3.	disorder; upheaval; tumult; chaos: The army retreated in confusion.

4.	lack of clearness or distinctness: a confusion in his mind between right and wrong.

5.	perplexity; bewilderment: The more difficult questions left us in complete confusion.

6.	embarrassment or abashment: He blushed in confusion.

7.	Psychiatry. a disturbed mental state; disorientation.

8.	Archaic. defeat, overthrow, or ruin.

---

[Origin: 1300–50; ME (< AF) < L confūsiōn- (s. of confūsiō). See confuse, -ion]

—Related forms

con·fu·sion·al, adjective

—Synonyms 2. distraction. 3. turmoil, jumble, mess, disarray. 6. shame, mortification.

So we pick up 1 point from each of the explanations, point 1 in the definition of emotion says that in emotions is state which differentiates feeling from the state of consciousness.This means emotion directly or indirectly takes you into a state of disarray,chaos and you fail to differentiate things consciously.This prcisely means confusion.

This actually is not only what the dictionary says, practical situations also show the same thing.That is why the Army men and business men leave emotion behind in their dealings as a their job involves a scope of high octane emotion leading to a huge loss always.

Well, this dosent mean any of them is bad and always cause a damaging effect on the lives of people. Emotion is what leads people towards working for social causes and doing good work.

Getting back to emofusion, it is a universal phenomenon, I am also the same.As my previous posts about the 52 no bus and boy meets a girl, say a lot about my situation in those days, they precisely means that I was in a state of High emofusion in those days.I was confused what to do and where to go.I didnt know whether to wait for that girl or move on in life and forget her, and all this was driven solely by emotion.

So, tell me does the same phenomenon exist with u ??? It definitely does with everyone,its just that I have given a name to it. We always feel it but theres no clear distinction to it.No one, not even the philosophy czars have taken this toic distinctively as accordong to them also, confusion is also a part of emotion.

Whats about being average

Being average is a sin.it is a curse for most of the people.If you view it through the eyes of an optimist, you are better than the poor, but, if you see it as a pessimist, even the poor are better than you. This world is full of extremes and there is no place for mediocrity.Yet, 70 % of the people lie in this category, 25% lie in poor and reamining 5% of them are good and exhilering.

 So, what is this phenomenon that 5% of the people in the world ruling the remaining 95% in this world??? This is human nature, this is what has been coming of the several ages.Have you ever heard of a kingdom where there are 100o kings and 500 subjects?,No thats because this world is built like that, this human mind works in the same way although the ages change.

 Again we go back to the question in the previous paragraph.The answer according to my perspective here lies in the fact that 95% of the people in this world do not know the answer to some basic questions.The questions being, who they are ? what is their exstance meant for? why are they doing whatever they are doing? what is satisfaction for them? when do they feel they have got nirvana?…….These are a few, but there are several ones like this.You see most of the great people, they are very clear about the answer to these questions and their whole life goes off without even them asking these questions to themselves.Also, many a times it so happens that these questions are asked but the effect of these do not last long.

In India for example, a person wants to do business, but he is forced into job for several years because he has a family to support, or a person wants to become a singer but becomes an MBA selling shampoo instead of performing in a live concert because parents feel that singing is not a good profession, too unstable to make a career out of it.People who succumb to this become mediocre, people who say yeah lets do the thing which keeps everyone happy, and become an average person.

 We can frame the same question in a different way, god makes everyone equal, in mind and body, then why are we average and dhirubhai ambani great? The answer is also same,but framed in a bit different way. We dont realize our real potential.We get carried away with situations, sorrows,happiness and worldly things like societal pressure.Only those who break this shell and come out of it, win, they are the ones who move from 95 % to 5% …they are the leaders.

 However, as balance in nature is maintained, these people will always be less because king will always be one, rest all will be subjects, average people…

My Tryst With Destiny

Have you ever heard of someone doing reserch for writing a blog entry..?? i dont think so …but for writing this particular blog entry i did research, an insight into myself, a look at the journey of my self discovery and reinvention of self. I have been through the thick and thins of my life in the end i have evolved,in fact i am still into the process but it has slowed down.

Destiny is the ultimate goal in one’s life and at one point of time you can clearly see it.You know what to do, but don’t know how to do.Some times even this clear vision fails and you reach America instead of india thinking you are in India like Columbus!!!! Thats the way life treats you.It creates a mirage of what you want to achieve and makes you achieve destiny.Quite confusing..???

It means that we choose our destiny and take a path towards it.Finally walking on the same path you tend to reach somewhere else.Somewhere in my dreams in school i thought i would become an it professional and i dreamt ot infosys or satyam as a dream job.However as i grew my dreams also grew i went to study electronics and Communications.Looking at my college performance i never thought i woulf get a job but i managad both a job and an ok score in the end.Now i moved to satyam which was my dream job in school whose dreams i had lost in the college.When i joined satyam i was thinking of moving to some technology like Linux which i loved to work with.Now i have achieved that also, but the major change in came when i came to bangalore.During my college days i always toyed with the idea of doing social work and i have described this in the earlier post.But after coming to bangalore i saw how the work is actually done.Initially i was irregular but one day was the day of realisation.I said to myself now i have to take the responsibility and i became a regular memeber then onwards.So finally i sum up this paragraph saying that I have not yet reached my destiny but I am sure I am on the right track.My clear vision sees me doing business and openeing NGOs for social work in the future but i don’t know where all this will lead me.

I am still waiting for my tryst with the destiny !!!!!!!!