My favourite Song

Someday by Sugar Ray
When my life has passed me by
I lay around and wonder why you were always there for me
One way
In the eyes of a passerby
I look around for another try and fade away
Just close your eyes and Ill take you there
This place is warm without a care
Well take a swim in the deep blue sea
I go to leave and you reach for me
Somesay
Better things will come our way
No matter what they try to say
You were always there for me
Someway
When the sun begins to shine I hear a song from another time and fade away
And fade away
Just close your eyes and Ill take you there
This place is warm without a care
Well take a swim in the deep blue sea
I go to leave and you reach for me
Someone said you tried to long
Someone said we got it all
Someone said we tried to long
Is there a place where I belong
So far so long
So far away
So far so wrong
So far away
Somday
When my life has passed me by
I lay around and wonder why you were always there for me
One way
In the eyes of a passerby
I look around for another try and fade away
And fade away
Repeat to fade

Emofused

Emofused!!! don’t look it up in the dictionary, you wont find it. It’s not there at all. Emofused is derived out of 2 words – Eomtionally Confused.How can these two words go together?, you must be thinking.If you give a deep thought to this question,you yourself can come up to the answer.You will realize that both are very much a part of each other.Confusion is almost a definite result of emotion.

To explain this we will have to dissect these words.Emotion is:

·mo·tion      /ɪˈmoʊʃən/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[i-moh-shuhn] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

1.	an affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional states of consciousness.

2.	any of the feelings of joy, sorrow, fear, hate, love, etc.

3.	any strong agitation of the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear, etc., and usually accompanied by certain physiological changes, as increased heartbeat or respiration, and often overt manifestation, as crying or shaking.

4.	an instance of this.

5.	something that causes such a reaction: the powerful emotion of a great symphony.

---

[Origin: 1570–80; appar. < MF esmotion, derived on the model of movoir: motion, from esmovoir to set in motion, move the feelings < VL *exmovére, for L émovére; see e-, move, motion]

and confusion is :

con·fu·sion      /kənˈfyuʒən/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[kuhn-fyoo-zhuhn] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

1.	the act of confusing.

2.	the state of being confused.

3.	disorder; upheaval; tumult; chaos: The army retreated in confusion.

4.	lack of clearness or distinctness: a confusion in his mind between right and wrong.

5.	perplexity; bewilderment: The more difficult questions left us in complete confusion.

6.	embarrassment or abashment: He blushed in confusion.

7.	Psychiatry. a disturbed mental state; disorientation.

8.	Archaic. defeat, overthrow, or ruin.

---

[Origin: 1300–50; ME (< AF) < L confūsiōn- (s. of confūsiō). See confuse, -ion]

—Related forms

con·fu·sion·al, adjective

—Synonyms 2. distraction. 3. turmoil, jumble, mess, disarray. 6. shame, mortification.

So we pick up 1 point from each of the explanations, point 1 in the definition of emotion says that in emotions is state which differentiates feeling from the state of consciousness.This means emotion directly or indirectly takes you into a state of disarray,chaos and you fail to differentiate things consciously.This prcisely means confusion.

This actually is not only what the dictionary says, practical situations also show the same thing.That is why the Army men and business men leave emotion behind in their dealings as a their job involves a scope of high octane emotion leading to a huge loss always.

Well, this dosent mean any of them is bad and always cause a damaging effect on the lives of people. Emotion is what leads people towards working for social causes and doing good work.

Getting back to emofusion, it is a universal phenomenon, I am also the same.As my previous posts about the 52 no bus and boy meets a girl, say a lot about my situation in those days, they precisely means that I was in a state of High emofusion in those days.I was confused what to do and where to go.I didnt know whether to wait for that girl or move on in life and forget her, and all this was driven solely by emotion.

So, tell me does the same phenomenon exist with u ??? It definitely does with everyone,its just that I have given a name to it. We always feel it but theres no clear distinction to it.No one, not even the philosophy czars have taken this toic distinctively as accordong to them also, confusion is also a part of emotion.

Whats about being average

Being average is a sin.it is a curse for most of the people.If you view it through the eyes of an optimist, you are better than the poor, but, if you see it as a pessimist, even the poor are better than you. This world is full of extremes and there is no place for mediocrity.Yet, 70 % of the people lie in this category, 25% lie in poor and reamining 5% of them are good and exhilering.

 So, what is this phenomenon that 5% of the people in the world ruling the remaining 95% in this world??? This is human nature, this is what has been coming of the several ages.Have you ever heard of a kingdom where there are 100o kings and 500 subjects?,No thats because this world is built like that, this human mind works in the same way although the ages change.

 Again we go back to the question in the previous paragraph.The answer according to my perspective here lies in the fact that 95% of the people in this world do not know the answer to some basic questions.The questions being, who they are ? what is their exstance meant for? why are they doing whatever they are doing? what is satisfaction for them? when do they feel they have got nirvana?…….These are a few, but there are several ones like this.You see most of the great people, they are very clear about the answer to these questions and their whole life goes off without even them asking these questions to themselves.Also, many a times it so happens that these questions are asked but the effect of these do not last long.

In India for example, a person wants to do business, but he is forced into job for several years because he has a family to support, or a person wants to become a singer but becomes an MBA selling shampoo instead of performing in a live concert because parents feel that singing is not a good profession, too unstable to make a career out of it.People who succumb to this become mediocre, people who say yeah lets do the thing which keeps everyone happy, and become an average person.

 We can frame the same question in a different way, god makes everyone equal, in mind and body, then why are we average and dhirubhai ambani great? The answer is also same,but framed in a bit different way. We dont realize our real potential.We get carried away with situations, sorrows,happiness and worldly things like societal pressure.Only those who break this shell and come out of it, win, they are the ones who move from 95 % to 5% …they are the leaders.

 However, as balance in nature is maintained, these people will always be less because king will always be one, rest all will be subjects, average people…

Volunteering Blues

You just cant miss this stuff if you are in Bangalore, specially if you are with Prasant Mohanty and Smitha MM. I came across these two unique people during my stay in Satyam.Well,as my previous write up goes,I just wanted to do something for the society and got determined.The change in was much like Shah Rukh Khan of “Swades”, only the situations I was put in were very different from it.When I went into Jogupalya school for the first time, I was taken aback by the magnitude of life the school possesed despite the fact that development in that school was fully lopsided.Government barely bothered about the school, and it had gone through every phase of being pulled down.The sheer strength of the teachers and their very strong will to keep it going,somehow, made the school, brave and a true temple of learning.Tamil school children didnt , have a decent pair of clothes to put on,not even a pair of footwear.Children were not even clean,and came to school only to get a mid day meal. The first thing which came to my mind was my school education. Costly school,the facilities which we had, the necessities there which are by far a luxury here.I was suddenly very determined to do everything to make that school develop.It was a task beyoned an individual’s reach.Then I met few people who directly were not very effective as a volunteer but were highly determined for the jobs.Mayank,Karthik,Sumit ,Vikram to name a few.These people had given a lot of time of their lives for volunteering and trying to bring about change.Change in mindset of people,change socially,economically and making India truely shining.

These people gave me a different kind of strength.Whenever I met them,I felt that the future of people whom they are working for is secure because they were so dedicated to the work.The most peculiar thing which I noticed in all the slums is, that people are very sceptical about sending their children to schools, always blaming the financial conditon.This however is not true in many cases and even the BPL (Below Powerty Line)people can send their children to government schools,as they dont charge a fees, give uniform ,books and one time meal to all the children.

One of the most emotional momeents in my volunteering experience was in Sathi. I heard 3 stories in a day.Reality is so hard hitting,that sometimes we also tend to lend a tear or two to its name.That day I met 3 kinds of chidren, innocent, distressed and misguided.They all seemed to me as the common denominations or I would rather call them the true representatives(picture) of indian children.

The inncocent child had gone to play cricket near the railway station, just wanted to see a train and he didn’t even think in his wildest dreams,what experience this small wish of his will bring to his life.He wandered from his home reached hyderabad and then bangalore.A child of 11 years,dosent know any language other than Marathi and dosent see his parents for days together.When we are 11 years old we are so protected, that we never think of such a situation. When I tried to see world through his eyes, and it was a horrifying experience.The child says to himself, “I don’t know where this thing is going?where is father,where is mother, where is shivaji?how far is my home from here? why doesen’t anyone answer my questions,?who knows marathi?which place is this?”.Imagine to find food and shelter after days of travelling and that too with so many boys in the similar situation.This boy when he was talking to my friend Imran in Marathi,was not ready to part with him and suddenly found a sense of security in this unknown world,where he was plinged into darkness by a small act of innocent negligance.

The stories of being distressed and misguided were very similar to movies.As they told about those,I was wondering,what are we doing to our future.People are fighting to save higher education from the cluches of Quota system,we are fighting to give basic primary education to the children,give guidance to the youth,give them motivation to come back and study,become respectable people,earn and give back to their families.

My dream as a volunteer is to give education to each and every person in India.This although seems farfetched and highly difficult,I am sure someday we will make to most educated nation in the world.Once this happens,it will trigger a chain of events which will create an ecosystem of love,peace,prosparity and of course happiness.

52 Number Bus

Our life is full of associations, all kinds real and virtual. Some associations are there by default and some we do by choice.Some associations ie the virtual ones are neither by default or by choice.These happen by themselves.We dont come to know when these actually happen. I wanted to talk about one such association.It is the 52 number bus of Ahmedabad Municipal Transport Service.

There is a small poem on these associations which I want to share:

In love we get connected,

When we’are happy or dejected,

to everything aorund us,

whether it is a flower or it is a bus.

I also got associated with something,

which i also felt a strange thing,

the 52 number bus it was,

looking at which my mind used to pause.

When ever I saw it It gave me her thought,

 this always made me feel distraught.

But some things are bound to change,

Love is lost and people become strange.

These associations hoever live forever,

It reminds me now of all the good times we had together.

Delhi Masala !!!

Delhi is full of ironies, rather we can say NCR as I am counting gurgaon also in my conversation. Beautiful metro stations are now dotted all over the city with the train dissecting and connecting the various parts of the cities and making local travel in Delhi much more convenient than before.The irony comes from the fact that you come out of a metro station just to find cycle rickshaws.Anyways, this time’s delhi experiece was quite enriching .I came to know which conference to attend and what whom to meet, how to talk in business language to business people.

Also, I got a feel how is the business scenario in the northern part of the country.Well, the best the experience was the two conferences which I attended. The first conference taught me not to go in the tradefairs, looking for clientage because it is a place where people show their products so that they get some clients.Also, half the stalls, simpy sell computers and pendrives, and I expected some clientage there ??? naeh.

 Then I moved to Linux Asia 2007 on the very next day only to discover that it was an even bigger joke in terms of an open source conference.To everybody’s surprise Microsoft was one of the sponsors and major player in an Open Source conference.They were advertising Windows Vista in a linux conference !!!!!!!!!!!!!!What the hell !!!

 A lot of people were suprisd,shocked,angry,fuming,….i think everything means the same,…yeah but just wanted to show the reaction of people.I met several good people, who were working on localization and several people striving to make open source a worldwide standard.

 Apart from all this action I met one of my best friends, Nupur and roamed around with her. We also finalizad upon the logo of the company.

A BOY MEETS A GIRL

He is going to meet her after several years. He has a very strange feeling in his gut. He still wants to meet her. He goes to her house and looks at her for the first time in years. He loses his senses completely, he dosen’t what to talk,how to talk, he feels choked up.

Gradually, the boy and girl start talking and they exchanged their phone numbers too. First, he calls her once a week. He is not sure of what has happened to him.That strange feeling in his gut has not gone…,on the contrary,it has increased. Then he talks to her twice a week and updates her whenever he gets to do that.The girl however is unaware of all that is happening in boy’s mind and heart.The boy tries his best to make even small visit to her,an attempt to meet her, see her.Something was happening to him.A feeling which was there never before.Although, he had crushes before,this one was something special,something out of the way.

He knew what was happening to him.He was falling in love with her. This time it was extra strong.He knew there can be fallouts because of this but he was optimistic.He never knew things can go so haywire as they were now.

(These feelings are portrayed in every other hindi movie.You can go and watch it, but when it comes to actually experiencing all this,it really is a very different matter at the hand.)

He moves away from her,far away.But still remains in regular touch with her.This time he is very sure of his feelings for her.He is very clear he loves the girl,he thinks he has found an ideal match,but u know thats where the difference in our goals and destiny comes.(As i have written in my previous article,here also  the end is different and sad).He wants to tell her about all his feelings to her.However,he fears the answer “no”.He dosen’t want to hear that word.Yet he looks for the right time to say the words.

However,fate had something else written about him.One day she stopped taking his calls.She didnt read his messages.She asked him not to contact her and didnt tell him the reason why.

He went tried contacting her several times and tried to get some news of her.She never called him back,never told where she was,why she did it,what the hell was the problem !!!!!

He cried,brokedown and gave himself pain many times.Went into depression and was glum for several days.Looking at phone,he wondered why ?,why did it happen to him?

However, now this is his way of life,living without her,thinking seldom about her and dismissing those thoughts as just sweet memories.

My Tryst With Destiny

Have you ever heard of someone doing reserch for writing a blog entry..?? i dont think so …but for writing this particular blog entry i did research, an insight into myself, a look at the journey of my self discovery and reinvention of self. I have been through the thick and thins of my life in the end i have evolved,in fact i am still into the process but it has slowed down.

Destiny is the ultimate goal in one’s life and at one point of time you can clearly see it.You know what to do, but don’t know how to do.Some times even this clear vision fails and you reach America instead of india thinking you are in India like Columbus!!!! Thats the way life treats you.It creates a mirage of what you want to achieve and makes you achieve destiny.Quite confusing..???

It means that we choose our destiny and take a path towards it.Finally walking on the same path you tend to reach somewhere else.Somewhere in my dreams in school i thought i would become an it professional and i dreamt ot infosys or satyam as a dream job.However as i grew my dreams also grew i went to study electronics and Communications.Looking at my college performance i never thought i woulf get a job but i managad both a job and an ok score in the end.Now i moved to satyam which was my dream job in school whose dreams i had lost in the college.When i joined satyam i was thinking of moving to some technology like Linux which i loved to work with.Now i have achieved that also, but the major change in came when i came to bangalore.During my college days i always toyed with the idea of doing social work and i have described this in the earlier post.But after coming to bangalore i saw how the work is actually done.Initially i was irregular but one day was the day of realisation.I said to myself now i have to take the responsibility and i became a regular memeber then onwards.So finally i sum up this paragraph saying that I have not yet reached my destiny but I am sure I am on the right track.My clear vision sees me doing business and openeing NGOs for social work in the future but i don’t know where all this will lead me.

I am still waiting for my tryst with the destiny !!!!!!!!

Purani Jeans …….Scenes from hostel life

SCENE1: One day two friends are getting naustalgic about their hostel life.The first guy tells about the lavish life they had in their hostel,about beautiful gardens,the scenic view of mountains,and the hi-tech facilities inside the hostel.The other friend was just smiling to himself.He had not seen all this but things which were much above the materialistic comforts.

SCENE2:As the first friend finishes boasting about his hostel,the other starts……………………..

“107!!!!!!!! Bhatia”, comes a loud shreik form the hostel guard.He is calling as my father has called up from home at the common hostel phone.He shouts 5 times before I go running towards the telephone in the warden’s(N H DAVE) room.After the phone call is over he calls out to all his friends on the ground floor and they all set towasd’s the hostel’s mess for having lunch.They were greeted by Jayeshbhai(a.k.a lala/o). They all(Saurabh,Nishit,Vivek,Bhavik,Vijay,Gaurav,Bhoru) stormed in the kitchen of the mess,with the contrator “Mukhiya” shouting orders, and rolling all over the place.He is like a big ball,with a glasses of very high power,has very good business sense and is a very clever person.Well,now we are inside the kitchen, talking to maasis(the ladies who cooked food for us),asking them to give us fresh rotis just taken off from the tawa.Whenever there is a talk of increase in price we shout slogans calling,”mukhiya jee hai hai” and banging the spoons on our plates.

SCENE3: The power has gone and there is complete darkness.As soon as the lights go off, howling starts.Sounds of shouting in various styles and voices start,soon things start coming down,glass slabs,a wooden door(most probably of the toilet)burning newspapers, and anything u can imagine to be worth throwing.It was a herculine task for the sweepers to clean the mess created in the night.

SCENE4:There are two shops side by side,owned by cousins just opposite to the gate of the college.Just as we move further towards the hostel gate we get “Deven ka Galla” whose vada pav everyone ate despite of being costly as he has monopoly.A bit further we reach chai ki dukaan owned by Narendra kaka…aka kaka.We are sitting there,sipping our teas,again the same group.The time is 6 o clock in the evening.The college has just got over and everyone is leaving.The rickshaws which take girls of the college are lined up waiting to get filled and we all are facing towards them wishing they were always there looking at some girl or the other.

SCENE 5: We have come for the movie Satta and it is 1:30 am. We don’t have anything to go back to our hostel which is around 12 kilometres from the place we are standing.The rickshaw waala tells a rate which does not suit our rates.Looking at all the factors, we start walking.We walk and talk for around 2 hours.As soon as we reach our hostel,we retire to sleep.

SOME FAVOURITES DURING THE THE FOUR YEARS:

These are all related to food.Favourite Chinese food place:MAHARAJA,there is still no place which can match this places’ chinese preprations in both taste as well as quantity of the food.Hotel shyam had a fentastic offer for the pockets of students–It used to offer punjabi thali for 65 rs which had the following:

Soup(once);2 Curries of our choice(unlimited);roti/naan/paratha (unlimited);jeera rice+ dal fry (unlimited);and ice cream(once)

the only condition was that u should have at least for people which easily used to get fulfilled,so we used to go there and hog on the food like anything.Another thing we loved was “GOLA”, we used to walk 5 kms just to eat gola and not to mention the santosh pani puri,the soda near daire,anand ice cream.The best scene was Nishit MIstry’s “Rakshasi Bhookh” when he used to eat anything that that came in his way and in any quantity…and now his complain is also catred to.Once he ate 2 plates fried rice,250 ml ice cream,Pani puri,omlette one after the another.Now u only can guess about his raakshasi bhookh.

For three of us(Nishit,Vivek,Saurabh) Sourabh Aggarwal’s room was a hot spot.We used to goto his place and watch movies,pester his stupid room partner Pratik Joshi,and he used to get pissed off badly.We used to love that sight.

We used to go to the mata’s temple by going through the cotton fields for taking the shortcut.

In short it is really difficult to cover the crazy,wacky,we can only dream of such life,and i remember my hostel days not my college days

ELTP ,BENCH@SATYAM,HYDERABAD

This part of my life was one of the most unforgettable part of my life. The most glorious period. The atmosphere there, was a superb one, the one which was not a college atmosphere but it was not even the corporate because we never followed that culture. Our batch numbered 349-352 had 122 people and we were i think, the most remembered batch of SLC. For bad activies,obviously ,for breaking the rules of the training and getting caught.For having fun when rest everyone was glum and for creating a college inside the company.

So here we were 120 odd people and they stuggled against the company rules, but led their life according to their wishes. Our program manager SWAPNA MUDHOLKAR shouted at us daily but at the end of the day she also was a sweet lady who wanted everyone to cross the training safely without hiccups. I had a lot of hiccups, maybe i will be the one with the maximum retests from my batch amounting to 6.

Looking for database just before the test,spending evenings at foodworld talking with friends(KHATTI MAARTE THE), that stupid eltp cafeteria, the convention centre, the zoo near it,the west wing and the east wing,hst-public\temp,hstslc005\eltp,Prasant Mohanty ka mike ke saath khelna,sabka usko gaaliyan dena,copter game khelna,Nagaraju Domula ki daant sunna,Ritu,Sushma,Kiran Maricharla's walkout, mass memos and what not. That time will not come again any time in the whole life. Now, everyone is separate and in different places,projects.This the fact of life and we were trained for that only, to be separated but the bond still remians between all the people of 349-352.

WE WERE THE BEST

Bench was another strange experience. Who in the world pays you for going to office and doing nothing??? Thats what we used to think. Waiting for the calls from CORCC(Corporate Resource Coordination Commitee) for projects we used to reach office by 10 am and leave by 1 pm. Every weekend we went for a movie.Everyday spending around 5 hours at the steps of foodworld in sindhi colony with sumit,mayur,varun,seema,mitali ohhh man what a time it was.i still have vivid memories of that time.